New Pass & New Challenge!

Today I got my new pass when I saw it… Shocker!! Shocker!!… The picture of me, is NOT the one I wanted lor. (click to enlarge)  WAH LAU EH! The picture also look somewhat distorted lor; apparently everyone’s photo gets a little stretched when they scanned it to the pass.

This suckz big time lor!! ((

This is the trouble when I am so damn indecisive. I submitted more than one picture (B, C & D) and I guess my co-worker was confused and selected the wrong picture (she picked D instead of C which I wanted). To be honest, when I submitted C to her, I immediately regretted & wanted B instead. WTF!! I am such a fickle-minded ass!! 

Well today is the last day in my old office premise, I am going to miss the… toilet (it’s bright, airy and odor-free). Next Mon everyone would be busy unpacking and settling down in the new office, while I would be in India! Yes! Mumbai, India. I am flying out, morning of April Fool’s Day, for a 4 days biz trip.

I get people warning me about everything from lustful molesters, to unscrupulous beggars to dare-devil suicide bombers. But somehow I think I kinda look forward to this trip; no doubt I am not at all thrilled with the country itself, but I think it’s a good to be away from home, my comfort zone & Mr Ex-Schoolmate for a while. Hopefully he will use this opportunity to learn to miss me. Haiz… this boyfriend of mine hor…

Recently, I felt I lost something… I think I lost a big part of my confidence & self-worth. I need to exercise my independence. I need to regain the feel… the feel that put me in place, the feel that tells me that I AM A FUCKING CAPABLE PERSON! And this trip comes in handy; it will be my Assurance Boot Camp.

And India is a tough country, with tough new challenge await me. I am going to be facing the "Bollywood" media (I hope I can understand their ‘a-bu-nana’ english), I will be presenting a brand that I don’t work directly on, and execute a function with a group of people who I had never really work with before. And knowing that one bugger from that group is totally antagonistic about me, just makes it even greater, right?!?!? (that bugger even suggested my boss picked someone else over me. Sibei KNN, right!!).  (*O*)

Ok… enough of those shite stuff. Let’s chill and have a laugh. Here is the tickle. My Passport Photo!! (click to enlarge) I was just so… so… so FUGLY!!! Everytime custom office look into my passport, I am proud of myself coz I grew prettier as I aged lor. LOL!!

And I also detest this picture to the core. I had to take for the stupid Visa Application to India. It specifically needs me to show my forehead and my ears! And I was made to look like a god-damn dork lor!! FUCK THE PHOTOGRAPHER, don’t even bother to photo-shop it a bit! I paid $15 for them ok. CB!! I hope your shop burnt down tomorrow!!

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I think, I am a far more superior photographer lor. Open a shop next to you and put you out of business then you know!! Scared rite!!

The Taming of the Shrew

A few days back, I witnessed a couple quarreling in the train during morning peak hour. Actually it was more like the gal was scolding the guy. He was feeling ’sibei ma lu’ & kept his stare on the floor most of the time. Occasionally he would raised his head and when his eyes met the girl’s, she would gave him a killer look and glared at him so ferociously that even I felt sorry for that poor chap.

How undignified can he be? I am not suggesting that we should let all the men be as egoistic as they can be, but spare them from that public rebuke, don’t crush their ego with a sledge-hammer in front of so many people.

Ok… There goes the loud jeering from friends who knew me for the longest time. I am hearing you say, "FUCK YOU! You are a bloody shrew yourself! You can’t be serious right, bitch!"

I had 3 relationships till date (that doesn’t include any guys who went steady with me before I turned 16, who didn’t last past a few months, who I dated out of stupor & boredom, who 暗恋我 or who 自做多情 because if I add those up, the number is infinite! LOL!). My first relationship, it was quite clear, that I was the one wearing the pants. I admit I was hyper-unreasonable, super hard to please and really crude. When we argued, I always wanted to win, even if I don’t, I make sure there wasn’t a winner. I was much mellowed during my second relationship. I gave in a lot, but I was still quite mean when I get pissed. Although I don’t show my ‘black face’ in front of our friends, they knew I was the lady-boss of the two.

Right now…. I am a fucking expired tigress turned domesticated house kitty. For these 6 months, we(Mr Ex-Schoolmate & I) had spent most of our days living together and do you know what… I had NEVER, yes you hear me correctly NEVER gotten angry with him or show any form of resentment at all. If he bad mood, I keep my mouth shut. If I made him angry, I immediately apologize. If he come home late, I don’t ask question (for he must be tired and I let him sleep in peace). NB lor… this kind of G.F. 绝种 already lor. Where to find, you tell me!?!?

You must be saying this to yourself now, "KNN lah!! This person talk cock lor. She can fuck all she want when writing her blog, she don’t dare to ‘kan’ her own boyfriend? I don’t believe lor."

Yes, it’s fucking amazing, but it’s the fucking truth lor. I AM THE BEST G.F ALIVE HOR!! Better than strike lottery right!?!? LOL!!!

It’s better like this than act fierce with your man and then one day your man decided enough is enough & leave, then you cry lah, want to die lah, for what fuck??… Women should be soft on the exterior, but ‘kan si lang’ tougher, at least we should be tougher than what the men perceive us to be.

Me? I got over all my EXs fast, like the speed of light… hahaha… Becoz when I am in love I will give 101%; when I am out, I take with me all my 101% and GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE TOTALLY!!

Split me up then! (part 2)

Ya… I know I was weak, I succumbed to my mama’s plea and her stupid act of anguish; I had abandoned my boyfriend during his birthday and went to that damn wedding!

Beside the fact that it is freaking far (at Rasa Sentosa!! Ya, again!! So fucking JUI lor!! You will know what I mean if you have read one of my previous entry about wedding at Sentosa). For the entire evening, my relatives were boosting about how to make more $$$ by speculating on private properties, and they even attempted to psycho me into selling away my current condo unit, so as to buy another one which is freehold.

For God’s sake lor, my loft is for me to have a home to come back to, not for me to "hao lian" one lor. I love staying here coz my dog’s nanny just live 4 floors above me, my neighbors don’t bother me, the MRT is just 3 mins walk away, what’s more can I ask for?? I FUCKING LOVE THIS PLACE, CAN! And more money doesn’t necessary make my world a better place what! What a bunch of disgustingly pragmatic people who worshipped only S 11!! I look like a FUCKING SAINT, when compared to them!!

Back to the wedding… instead of the usual champagne pouring & the traditional toasting on the stage, the couple who are Christian opt for non-alcoholic sparkling juice instead and NO "yum seng" lor, they just merely shouted "Cheers" twice and called it a day liao lor. (they are the super on type lor… I wonder did they have pre-marital sex before their wedding…?? LOL!!) ~_~  The most anti-climax wedding dinner of the year lor! Sianzzzz…….

I got so bored, I started downing more glasses of red wine. It’s a crappy decision to come to this wedding. Oh bloody hell…! Instead of scoring points for celebrating birthday with my boyfriend, I had to come to this KNN wedding and risked pissing him off instead. I better rely on my irresistible "bimbo-ly" charm to level up my score card in the next few days.

On my journey home, which was a really long way, I was rolling at the back of my brother’s car, doing what I do best – YES!! Cam-whoring!! My mama and my bro just simply ignored me & my idiosyncrasy, they probably concluded that I was already fucking wasted. Am I??… I am an ex-alcoholic ok!! Don’t play play sia!!

 

WASTED? NOT A CHANCE!!

iam@youth.sg (part 2)

I just realized that I am in the TOP 20 of the round 6, youth.sg blogging festival. (Check me out at http://youth.sg/blog/ )

I was like… "Who? Me? Top 20? WooHoo!!!!…"

Then after reading the part describing my blog, I went… "Huh…! What do you mean by ‘applaud her confidence’…?" Hmmm… I didn’t know that writing, posting my pictures, screaming the vibrancy of life out loud on a blog at 31, actually require some level of confidence. Got so difficult meh?

Ok… enough of the bull crap! Just vote for me because 30s is the NEW 20s! And more importantly, VOTE FOR ME BECOZ I AM THE OLDEST CONTESTANT & MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING AWAY LIKE SOME FUCKING TIME BOMB! (And I still ain’t married & have no babies… erm doesn’t that qualify me for some sympathy votes already… LOL!!!)

Btw… I am Contestant B16 hor! hehehe…

Some Darn Good Beauty Tips from the Expert:

Retain your youth with Botox??

I recommend cam-whoring instead.

(Read Part 1 of this entry here: http://cciinnddyy.blogs.friendster.com/cciinnddyy_blog/2007/03/iamyouthsg.html)

The Voting Form is at the right side tool bar. Voting closed on 29th Mar 07, 2359 hr. Thank you very much!!

Romeo & Juliet

(http://www.romeoandjuliet.com/setting/tragedy.html)

During my ‘O’ level (more than 15 years ago already lah), Romeo & Juliet was one of the books I studied for my Lit paper. If only this show by Leonardo was available then, I think I wouldn’t be getting a C5 for it

I wasn’t a huge fan of R&J, but I definitely love this show; it had modernized and injected life this rather dull & stupid Shakespear’s play.

Some people called it the greatest love story, some said it was a romantic tragedy. I will simply summarized it as a story about two fucking immature and crazily infatuated teens taking their childish fantasy a bit too far!

Why I say that? What kind of love is that when you fall for the person in one night, marry the person the next day and then go out and kill yourself when the other died, all in a span of a few days?

Romeo & Juliet were lucky that they were dead in less than a week of their hurricane love affair. Think about it, if they lived on, they would have regretted their fucked-up and irrational decision; rushing to tie a knot without considering the consequences. You think they could live happily ever after? I say, they would probably hate each other after 6 months!

If William Shakespear can come back to life in our era, he will know that his story is a fucking joke to me! I will tell the following to William:

1) They are mere kids! They are like 14 or 16 yrs old (I can’t remember their actual age, but I know they are just bloody teenagers), what the fuck do they know about life?? And they aren’t even the legal age to drink, smoke and have sex yet!!

2) They married each other within 24 hours. Tell me how much can you understand a person in 24 hours to determine if you want to spend your entire life together?

3) Romeo fought & killed Tybalt, who was a cousin of Juliet. Can you fucking love a person who slayed your childhood playmate? Even if you can, you think Romeo don’t have to do time in jail? And are you telling me, Juliet will patiently and lovingly wait for Romeo’s release? Look, it’s MANSLAUGHTER, we are talking about here.

4) Their family are arch-rivals. You think they are going to have it easy with their in-laws. Marriages are known to break down because they hated their in-laws and the miserable husbands were usually sandwiched between the wife and the mother.

5) Romeo quickly dropped his love for Rosaline, at the instant he met Juliet; just goes to say how fickle this man is, you think he will make a faithful husband meh?

Everything is so bloody childish lor! Fairytales are crap!

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Last word: For everything that I had felt for R&J, it was really a fucking miracle that I didn’t get a F9 for that year’s Lit paper. LOL!!  ;P

Which One?

When you are a fucking narcissist, you wouldn’t know how to select just ONE out of ten thousands pictures, for your new pass.

I just dread making that choice! Can I make more than one pass anot?

Make a guess which picture did I choose. (Is it A, B, C, D, E or F?) I will reveal my choice by showing you my new pass when I get it. Hehehe…

(click on pic to enlarge)

Split me up then!

I am caught in a web of dilemma. My cousin is getting married this Sunday, though I am not close to him at all (he is the kind of cousin I see only during CNY), my mama wants me to be present at the wedding. Call it FAMILY OBLIGATION!! I fucking hate that!

But Sunday is Mr Ex-Schoolmate’s birthday. Yes, my boyfriend’s very first birthday with ME!! How can I not be around?? My mama was super insistent, she was almost begging me not to "put her airplanes" for the wedding. I feel as if I am in a war-torn zone!!

Fuck the wedding! You people have already found happiness and are getting married, so why do my presence matter anyway?! What difference does it make to you whether I am there or not? But it sure hell makes my life easier if I don’t have to choose between pissing my mama or my boyfriend!!

Everyone just want a piece of me??

As if anybody cares how vexed I am….!! ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!

Chop me into half on Sunday can!!??

A forgotten pastime.

The first time I went to a club, I was 13. (for tea-dance/ non-alcoholic party for the under-aged) The club then was RUMOR, at Forum The Shopping Mall. (RUMOR has since closed down, the area was takeover by Toys R us) Then there was Passion, Fire, and a few other "ah beng disco places" (I can’t remember their names liao) like the one at the top level of Ngee Ann City, and another one was the canto at Marina South, for nite disco in my schooling years.

But I only started clubbing intensively when I turned 18 and it top the chart as my favorite pastime for at least, the next 6 years. At the height of it, I was seen at Zouk almost every Wed and I can be spotted at Mohd Sultan, at least 4 days a week. All these died down slowly as I grew older. And suddenly I don’t club anymore and evolved into someone who preferred to stay at home, watching TV/DVDs and surfing net.

People were talking about Club Momo, M.O.S, The Cannery, Butter Factory, and I wouldn’t know anything about it, because I had never been to any of those before.

Last evening, Mr Ex-Schoolmate and I went to Movida, one of the club at St James, with some of his friends. It was freaking crowded!! Well, I should have expected that, because that is the usual for a "IN" club scene. Although I had laid off partying for the longest time, but nothing has changed. I still see some young chicks using that same old tactics that my gal friends would once used, to get men to "sponsor" us drinks for the entire night. I still see some older aunties who tried very hard to fit in, by trying to dress hip and act hip. I still see a few familiar hard-core clubbers whom I would always bumped into during my clubbing days. And even most of the songs that were played are the same.

However there was some differences, last night:

1)The man who hold me while I danced is different.

2)The kakis who drink with me are different.

3)And I didn’t smoke at all. That’s so fucking different from the past when I can smoke an entire pack in that few hours!!

I almost forgot to mention that the SG Idol winner, Hady "Something", erm… I can’t remember his full name, was sharing our table that nite. And this guy, a friend’s friend was looking so freaking alike to a Taiwanese talk-show artist, Jiu Kong. (But Mr Ex-Schoolmate is also in the pic, so I agreed not to post it online for his sake.)

He married her and I am ok… Hmm… strange! (Part2)

Someone who know my ex-husband and I, had sent me a msg earlier, one that had kinda reprimanded me for my insensitivity, becoz I posted an entry relating my ex-husband’s wedding earlier.

Ok, I admit, I have always been pretty callous about people’s feelings. And I might have written stuff that upset people unintentionally (like the one about my ex-boyfriend which I had taken down already) But for this? A pretty harmless entry from the perspective of an ex-wife, don’t anybody think so? Somehow, I don’t see a need to call out an apology for it at all.

Anyway, here is my reply. (It’s a blog thing, so my preference is to settle it within its premises. I reckon you would think, this move is sickly insensitive as well. But like always, I wouldn’t seem to care less, would I? )

Firstly, everything stated on the blog is nothing but the truth. The undeniable fact is: He is my ex-husband. He is a divorcee. He had been remarried recently. He had previously dumped me for this somebody, who was "allegedly" the person he married recently. (see, I used the word alleged, becoz I can’t prove otherwise and I am not speculative about anything.)

Secondly, I didn’t see anything that is ungracious about blogging stuff from my past relationship. I don’t feel that there is anything shameful or there is a need to hide anything under the cover. When you select divorce as an option to an irretrievable marriage and you are free to marry anybody else after the divorce. This has no indication that you are committing something terrible. So why should anyone be bothered by my entry?

Bottom-line is, everybody has a choice and every choice has its consequences. Just be man about it and face it. Not only facing it, I am saying, face it with dignity!! Is there something rotten that he felt about being known as a reformed "bastard"?(although I am not by any means indictating that ex-husband is a bastard, if you know what I mean) Everyone makes mistake at any point of the person’s life. So?… Just get over it and start being nice. It is that simple, ok!

To the part of Jame’s (a blog reader of mine) comment. Well, let’s just say, everyone has the freedom to express their opinions. It is Jame’s perceptions and we can’t stop people from forming their own intuitions on stuff they see. And lastly on the pictures. I guess, everyone has a responsible to understand that when you post your pictures on-line, (Friendster or anywhere else) you are exposing yourself to having them downloaded by anyone who surf; unless your pictures are bounded legally for copyrights; it’s just something you have to accept.

Anyway, thanks for your concern, I appreciate that. However if the couple has an issue, let them come to me directly; in this way, it saves you from looking like you are just being overly-paranoid.

Phew… what a long reply!… Anything new, Anything else?

What are your dreams?

There was once when Mr Ex-Schoolmate and I were passing by some magazine at a petrol kiosk. I pointed to a cover of a magazine excitedly and asked if he recognized the woman on the cover. She was Serene Chew, a ex-schoolmate of ours.

Mr Ex-Schoolmate looked surprised,"From our school? What is she doing on the cover of the magazine?" I replied,"Aiyo, she is now a super-model, who made it big in New York, Paris, Milan, etc… Don’t you know?"

Mr Ex-Schoolmate said,"Huh.. She can be super-model, how come you can’t be anything? Thought you always say you are very pretty one?!"

I rolled my eyes and retaliated, "If I am a super-model, then there would be no chance for you to get me already lor. U henggg ar!"

I pout. And he grunted at my reply. (as usual)

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That brought me to think about my childhood aspirations. I was never someone who dreamed about being a model (cos if you don’t let me eat, I get fucking upset), or a stewardess (cos I suffered motion-sickness), or a singer (cos I am really forgetful, I can’t remember lyrics), or an actress (combine the 2 reasons for both the model & the singer).

Hence I grew up rather aimless… =_=”

I lived thru 28 years not knowing what the fuck I wanted to be. I stumbled upon a chance, about 2 years back, that allows me to realize my dream. I like to grow capabilities on people. I want to help make people learn. Yes, that’s what my dream is. I visualise it, take all the opportunities to live it and be it.

Since then, I had become a trainer.

And it definitely suits me better than the model, the stewardess, the singer or the actress… anytime!

So if you think that you are heading nowhere; it’s time to pursue your dream.

Taken from the lyrics of "Silent Lucidity": Visualise your dream, Record it in the present tense, Put it into a permanent form, If you persist in all efforts, You can achieve a dream come true…

PSS: Though I ain’t super-model, but I can still pose & take pics, like there is no tomorrow. Hahaha…