It is perhaps too radical to think that abortion is purely one woman’s decision, problem, action or responsibility.
This video is dedicated to all the fathers in the world, who had spared the lives of their little ones, so that they are given a chance to show you what love is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSxS7FlpqaM
WARNING!!: This video contain graphic that is highly disturbing and ghastly to some individual. Watch with discretion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biKrRUeoOfk
Don’t be mistaken, I am not some kind of anti-abortion activist or what not. I just hope this video put a different perceptive in your lives. (If you are offended by it, I am sorry. But then again this is my fucking blog and I can post any fucking shit, without having to care a heck about your feelings.)
The truth is, I had also considered abortion as an option too. It seems like a better future for me, in an unplanned pregnancy.
"I don’t have to worry about the illegitimacy of my unborn child. I don’t have to face the social stigma of a unwed mom. I don’t have the cope with the lack of emotional support. I don’t have to put up with the physical changes in my body. I don’t have to endure a grueling labor. I don’t have to take any chances for a nerve wrecking post-natal depression. I don’t have to be financially burdened. I don’t have to give up my dreams of having a perfect wedding…"
ALL the reasons seem so tangible right?
In the end… I don’t even have ONE GODDAMN GOOD REASON to justify "a death sentence" to it, without ever gonna feel guilty.
Without a doubt, it will never be easy to welcome it unexpectedly, with your arms wide open. However, almost all of the moms who had initially wanted to put a termination to their pregnancies were glad they didn’t.
If you think about it, everyone has a worth in their lives, no matter how small they might be. 
)
This Parmesan & Garlic flavored cheese twist is SO GODDAMN DELICIOUS!!
Just like what it says on the box, it is excellent even when you eat it on its own!! Don’t believe what I say, you gotta try it lor! anyway if you don’t love it, you can always pass it to me. Hehehe…
Just looking at it is enough to make me salivate! Yummy!! I would kill to eat this forever, that is if it doesn’t make me put on weight. 
(
Haiz… I am turning into this carbo maniac! I used to steer clear of consuming rice and bread, now I am eating carbo for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. FUCK! This seriously can’t be good!!
OH YESH!! There is just one more thing that would make me kill !!! This fab-looking LV diaper bag! OMG! This like THE SUPER MUST HAVE for a mum-to-be. I call it, the "IT" bag for super-mummy!!! 
*pouting — Hummppff!!
I want!..... I want!..... I want!.....
There is this couple who had been together for the past 10 years of their lives(and I know them thru out their couple-hood). Recently I heard rumor news of them splitting up. I was really disappointed, however I don’t wanna influence anybody’s decisions.
10 years is not a short time, but it isn’t a lifetime too.
Aiyo… Why is it that things and people around me, are so melodramatic?!
Will simply leading a mediocre life free us from problems?? Hmm… I seriously doubt so….
I don’t need to see you guys together, I just wanna see you guys being happy.
Do whatever, you have my blessings. )
PS: I heard someone is singing "I finally found THE LOVE OF THE LIFETIME…" but his next song probably will be "I am HERE WITHOUT YOU, baby… But you are still with me in my dreams…" (Sibei chiam ar… Haiz…)
I am extremely tired, ~_~ however when I tried to sleep, I just can’t seem to fall into a deep sleep, in fact I hadn’t been sleeping well for the past 3 nights already(orr bark kak liao).
Last night, I tossed & turned on my bed for THREE FUCKING HOURS!! Finally I gave up and wanted to pop some Melatonin pills(over-the-counter medicine used for my jet-lag) to get a better rest. As I was placing the pills in my mouth, the label caught my eyes. It says, "NOT FOR CONSUMPTION DURING PREGNANCY" Oh fuck! I spat out the pills instantly and went back to bed, totally lethargy!!!
I woke up feeling as though I am out in the sea – DAMN NAUSEA!! Luckily I don’t have to work today. I finished the entire packet of Skittles within a few minutes, it did make me feel better however I get this weird sensation on my tongue after that(a bit numb yet tingling) and it just don’t go away. EeeeKkkk, I hate it lor!! *o*
I felt so much better in the afternoon, so I thought I should try to change my lizard bait, coz the old one had this stupid lizard’s carcass mummified in it. It’s like the perfect warning for other lizards, they see already sure wouldn’t fall into the same death trap like this stupid bugger one what! I was prepared that I would puke when I get up close to the dead lizard. Surprisingly, I did quite fine. Guess the Skittles I ate earlier helps. ;-P
Lotsa people are wondering if we(Mr Ex-Schoolmate & I) will be getting hitched soon, as there is a baby on our way. Seriously, I dunno. As long as we love our baby, I don’t see a difference if we are married or not. The last thing I want, is for him or anyone else to think that a wedding is more important than our baby. I don’t want to think so much or let stuff like that bothers me & affects me emotionally, because what is important right now, is that I MUST BE HAPPY!! so I can nurture a healthy and cheerful baby. Correct or not?!
Anyway, I do believe he will make a good daddy )
This coming X’mas, I will be expecting a baby! (hopefully one that is cuter than this one on the right ;p)
Hold it !!!!
Don’t congratulate me, becoz it doesn’t seem very appropriate, for it’s not like what you would have imagined. There is nobody jumping around for joy or hugging me with tears in the eyes. Mine is an unplanned pregnancy,(perhaps even unwanted to begin with) but I had made a critical and difficult decision to keep my baby. 
The journey ahead is looking predictably rigorous for me; soon I would be a single & unwed mom when my child is born.: (( I would be lying if I tell you that I am fully prepared for this. But then, I believe no amount of preparation is truly sufficient when it comes to motherhood. 
And I would be lying too, if I said that I am brave enough to face these all by myself. But I will do everything I possibly can; coz it is my maternal duty to protect, care and love my baby, even though now it is only an embyro(it’s about 4 weeks old).
From today onwards, I am not going to cry in my sleep anymore. I am not going to look for love and acceptance. I will never ever negotiate my baby’s life.
I am going to be strong, STRONGER THAN EVER, for I gotta be a super-mummy in the future!
If you can hear me, my baby,"All I wish for right now, is for you to be healthy. I can’t promise that you will get the best, but you can be sure that I will do my very best to love you."
After my previous entries, I started getting words of encouragement or comforts thru MSN, messages in the chat box, emails, etc. 
Hello Everybody!… relaxed… I am fine, or should I say I would be fine, thank you, dearies! See I can cam-whore, meaning I am ok.
Hey, do you know something… I am able to see into your past, do you believe? In fact, I know about everybody’s past.
Let’s try… You will nod your head if I am correct about what I say.
All of you reading this now…. I am picking up a vibe…. I am sensing that….
.
.
…. all of you here shared something similar…
.
.
… you had been thru a phrase of your lives, when you experience agony and heartache.
.
You can’t believe it, but 99.99% OF YOU ACTUALLY NODDED YOUR HEAD TO THAT!!
In the eye of MISERY, everybody is the same, nobody will be spared. But you can make the different….
If you pick yourself up from that usual corner and continue to move on…
When I read into my own future, it says: "The road ahead is uncertain and fills with obstacles, but I will keep on moving as long as I know there will always be YOU people who look out for me as I recuperate."
THANK YOU, PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME!!
After reading the list of 30 self-esteem statements from a friend’s blog (see below), I walked slowly into my bedroom….. sat in the darkness, broke down & cried.
I felt like fuck, because I had let myself down.
Where is that spunky & feisty gal who believe she is the master of her own fate?
She gave way to someone who is ever so relenting! And I really hate her now!
The 30 Self-Esteem Statements:
1. I like and accept myself right now, today, even though I want to make changes in myself, accepting that I am not perfect.
2. I am worthy simply for who I am, not what I do. I do not have to earn my worthiness.
3. I get my needs met before meeting the wants of others. I balance giving and receiving.
4. I easily release negative feelings when other people blame or criticize me. I realize I cannot control what other people think about me, so I focus on living my life with integrity and to the best of my abilities.
5. I always tell myself the truth about what I am feeling.
6. I am incomparable and stop comparing myself with other people.
7. I feel of equal value to other people, regardless of my performance, looks, IQ, achievements, or possessions.
8. I am my own authority and take full responsibility for my choices, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, emotions, reactions, and actions. I do not give others credit or blame for how I am doing.
9. I learn and grow from my mistakes rather than deny them or use them to confirm my unworthiness.
10. I stop my critical self-talk and replace it with a nurturing, kind, encouraging voice.
11. I love, respect, and honor myself.
12. I practice unconditional love and forgiveness daily.
13. I accept other people as they are, even when they do not meet my expectations with their behaviors and beliefs.
14. I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions, needs, thoughts, moods, or feelings, only for my own.
15. I feel my own feelings and think my own thoughts, even when those around me think or feel differently.
16. I stop using “shoulds” and “oughts,” which are value judgments that put me (or others) down. (It is irrelevant what I should have done or should do. It is more important to know what I am willing and not willing to do and which consequences I am willing to pay.
17. I am responsible for changing what I do not like in my life. I face my fears and insecurities, taking appropriate steps to heal and grow.
18. I forgive myself and others for making mistakes and being unaware.
19. I do not dominate others or allow others to dominate me.
20. I find meaning and have purpose in my life. I believe my life counts.
21. I have good physical and emotional boundaries with others.
22. I take care of myself on all levels: physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
23. I desire to make a contribution to the world. I develop and share my talents and interests with others.
24. I am a person of my word and follow through on the things I commit to do. 25. I spend quality time with myself on a regular basis.
26. I deserve love and happiness.
27. I get my warm and loving feelings about myself from within myself and do not depend on others to do this for me.
28. I am lovable.
29. I release unreal expectations for myself and others.
30. I choose to love and respect all human beings regardless of their beliefs and actions, whether or not I have a personal relationship with them.
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Maybe it’s PMS…
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Maybe my thoughts & feelings are tangible…
.
Maybe nobody should pay any attention to this entry, because bloggers are usually a bunch of senseless buggers anyway…
Isn’t it easy to forget that I am only human; that I am could be hurt, even if I look fine.
Isn’t it easy to forget that I am only human; that I can use some words of comfort & apology at times.
Isn’t it easy to forget that I am only human; that I have the need to express my views & emotions too.
.
.
.
…Nobody is indispensable in this world.
Last Friday, we had this wonderful picnic at Sentosa! We had lots of food, booze, fun, sun and sand…. ok, I know you are envious of me!
As the sun set, we were just chilling by the beach, drinking wine and someone brought out this topic:
"Would you check on your boyfriend’s mobile phone(SMS inbox)?"
It was pretty interesting, one of us admitted that she would, and the rest of us shook our heads. I was a little guilty, I mean, I had checked my ex’s phone before, but that was only when he behaved so damn suspiciously. He would silent his phone ALL THE TIMES and he even went to the extent of sleeping with his stupid phone in his bermudas’ pocket!! Tell me how can you not be wondering what the fuck was going on! It’s only human to be curious right?!
But in normal situation, I wouldn’t violate the privacy of another person. And I also believe that sometimes, certain messages are pretty harmless, but it is the way the reader (which is you) perceive it. For example, you might see a SMS from this girl, "Hihi, long time no c, got miz me anot? LOL! Cum out 4 kopi wif us tis sat ok?" You are hopping mad, thinking someone is trying to flirt with your man but the message could be sent by a very normal friend, and this girl might already be attached to someone she love and she is totally not into your type of guy lor! (so stop thinking your man is a hunk ok!) How do I know? Because I will SMS some close guy friends in this way too. Hahaha…
Would I allow my bf to check my phone? ~_~”
Check lor. The messages in my inbox are so boring; they might just put you to sleep. (Come on lah, if really got those 见得不光 the message I cannot delete them meh?!?!)
And would I check my bf’s phone?
The answer is simply… NO!!
Because I don’t have a fucking clue how to operate his phone!! LOL!! (He is using a Dopod PDA phone, and I am a PDA-idiot!)
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Oh… if you are wondering why I am so tired and looks like shit this week… It because I had to mark test papers day & night!! I rather be the one who do the test, than to mark them!!
"IT’S A FREAKING TRUCKLOAD OF TEST PAPERS LOR!!"
Haiz…. now is lunch time, but looking at the stack of papers, I have no more apetite…
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