Ready.. on the mark.. get set.. wait!

I reached the hospital right on time for my doc’s appointment today. Waited for 10 minutes and then a nurse came over and whispered to me.

Nurse: Dr Hong ask if you wanna go downstair for lunch or a drink first?

Me (with an astonishing look): huh? why leh?

Nurse: Oh… the patient before you is still inside… (shake head a bit) … she …err… more problematic lah … you see.

Me: I am ok… (reaching out for more magazines)… I prefer to sit here & read.

Nurse nodded and went back behind the counter.

I wondered… if she had ever tell another patient of me being problematic, if ever that next person gotta wait…. (frown as I scratch my head)

25 minutes after my initial appointment time, I finally get to see my doc… aiyah… forgot to sneak a peep at the "problematic patient" that came out of her room. Very curious lor.

Doc: Hi Cindy, how are you feeling… hmm… you are looking good today. What have you been doing? Is it your lashes or the hair?

Me (blush): maybe…I don’t know… but I think I am feeling better.

Doc: oh… what have you been up to lately to make you feel this good?

Me: doc… Actually I m starting to see someone… (blush more.. act paiseh)

Doc (looking concern): Oh really, tell me all this person.

Then I went and told her lah… blah… blah… blah…

Doc: You know, I am glad that you finally decided to step out and accept someone… but I want you to be mindful. You know how you always sway from "all black to all white". I need you to remind yourself to be in control, to stay in the "grey area". (this is one of the characteristics of a BPD)

Me: doc… are you suggesting that I am not ready, becoz at times I doubt myself too. I fear myself for being overly emotional without realization of it. (pout)

Doc: You will never be ready when you don’t get started.

Huh??….So that’s means I ready or not??? Walking out of her room… more puzzled than I entered. WTF!!

Stayed in the office, worked late. Went home, cooked & ate dinner alone. MR EX-SCHOOLMATE sms to say that he is having dinner with his co-worker and will call me later. Take my time to soak in the long bath and did a DIY body scrub. Waited… 11.30pm, he called. I sounded a bit cold in the beginning, then "engine warm-up liao", I rattled non-stop & he just listened to all my nonsense. 1am, released him to bed and I continued writing this piece of shit.

KNN… Why am I still thinking if I am ready or not… No conclusion one lah!


8 Responses to “Ready.. on the mark.. get set.. wait!”

  1. September 27, 2006 at 11:01 am

    ya lor… No conclusion one la.. Nike’s slogon “Just Do It” haha

  2. September 27, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    Maybe you can ask yourself do you want to take part in the race?

    For if you want to participate, Ready or Not, once race start you will also run *Laugh*

    If not ready you will be plucking petals at starting line, going..am i ready….am I not….am I ready….*try sunflower, more petals* -.-”

  3. September 27, 2006 at 6:34 pm

    Nike? Run a race? … actually i hate out-door sport, the sun and the sweat leh. How huh? LOL….

  4. 4 Ash
    September 27, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    white, black and grey…geez…now i am confused too… lol :p

    Follow ur heart and rock the house ! :p U r definitely ready to burn !! :p

  5. September 28, 2006 at 5:58 am

    haha try those indoor with running track *laugh* -.-” sidetrack the topic already 😛

    The point is if you have feeling for that guy, why not go for it… how many times in life can a guy really touch your heart rite -.-” but please stay in the grey area (like flying kite…slowly release the string (heart)…release too fast without catching the wind, it wouldn’t fly)….

  6. September 28, 2006 at 7:06 pm

    Thanks Jeral for your “kite-flying” advise. (*o*)

    And everybody, for your support!! 😛

  7. October 8, 2006 at 10:19 am

    I am all black and all white… that makes me a zebre right?…LOL…

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