Archive for March, 2008


Work of a mother

I will be returning to work on Monday. After a super long break since last Dec, I would be fucking lying if I say I am looking forward to it!

With me starting work, my baby and maid will have to stay over at my in-law’s from Sun night to Wed evening. This will be the first time my Laetitia will be away from me since birth. The thought of not seeing her, not able to hug and kiss her, kills me!!

Dsc01634_1Few days back, I had the joy of witnessing Laetitia rolled over (with some assistance from me) for the first time; I was ecstatic! When the excitement died down, I started to cry; for it dawned upon me that I might most probably not be there to witness her first crawl, her first step or hear her first word, because I am a working mom! I felt really upset & short-changed!

If you are thinking then why don’t I be a stay-home-mom instead. Read on.

Number 1: you aren’t living in Singapore hence you don’t realize that being a stay-home-mom here is really a fucking luxury and not everyone can afford to do so.

Number 2: your husband is bloody well-to-do hence it is easier for you to pass cynical comment than to donate some of that wealth to me.

Number 3: you are just a minor and you hadn’t tasted adulthood yet to understand complexities or reality.

Number 4: you are from my granny’s time, when a woman’s job is really about getting laid, giving birth, looking after the kids and doing housework.

Number 5: you are a stay-home-mom who preached about the greatness of being a martyr for the family, even though you are secretly envious of your financially independent lady friends.

In the law of nature, the work of a mother is to be the care-taker to her baby. But in Singapore, this fucking rat racing society, our government not only encourages mothers to work, they even propose that the grandmothers should also work, hence the talk of delaying CPF withdrawal, re-employment of the retirees and stuff I don’t want to know.


I remembered I was doing my appraisal with my manager when I was around 4-5 months pregnant. I was ambitious and wanted to go regional. She, a mother of two, told me that after giving birth I might change my mind and would perhaps rearrange my all priorities. And boy, she was dead right! Nowadays even a 2-day meeting in KL (happening in the week after next) becomes a BIG deal to me. I think I should just kiss regional work goodbye!

I had to agree, while it’s not totally impossible for me to be a stay-home-mom, it’s just my very personally choice. A choice to be bountiful rather than risking not having enough. Yes, you can argue that 有钱不是万能的. A baby needs love more than expensive toys. But 没钱绝对是万万不能; when you are damn vexed about debts and all, you think you got the mood to play with your baby?! And I also believe in this chinese saying: 贫贱夫妻百世哀. (translated losely in english as "poor couples live in sorrow for century to come"). If we aren’t living our lives blissfully, how could we give Laetitia happiness then?

Well, I had the best time of my life taking care of Laetitia. If only time can come to stand still… ok, I know that is impossible.

Erm… then how about letting us strike a few millions in toto then!?!?


I love being Laetitia’s mommy; even if it means I became FAT (at the beginning), look frumpy, face the world without makeup, or smell like stale milk.



The Maid

Resize_2 Since Nov, last year, I employed a foreign domestic help, commonly known to us as the maid. If you expecting some terrible tales of crazy & violent maid or the usual complaints of them being lazy, scheming or simply idiotic; I sorry to disappoint you, I do not have any of those.

Karein, my maid, has so far given me no worries or problem. She takes good care of my Laetitia, cooks fairly well, has initiatives and can get along well with me, Mr Hubby, Laetitia and even our dog, Oki. Some said it is all too early to tell; well I don’t know, that’s why I am keeping ALL MY DAMN FINGERS FUCKING CROSSED!

People who had visited me over at my place, commented that I treat my maid too well and she is so lucky to have such an easy life working for me.

1) Karein gets to eat anything she wants, from drinking Coke to eating tidbits.

But when she eats too much, I will hint to her about it and she will limit herself and there is no hard feelings about it. Most importantly, she will not steal my food or Laetitia’s food.

2) She can sit and watch TV with us.

Provided she had finished her all her chores already. Anyway, if there are things to be done in the midst of watching, she will automatically go and do it.

3) She chats with me about anything under the sun.

It’s my way of knowing the background of a person without making her feels too intimidated. And it’s also my way of letting her know what kind of person I am. I can be your nicest boss but I could also be your worst nightmare. You choose.

4) She can retire to bed early if Laetitia is already sleeping.

At times, when we need her to work later than her rest time, she has no complain, coz she knows, it’s give and take.

5) I allow her to talk to the neighbor’s maid.

As long as she gets her job done, she is free to talk. It’s always nice to know that there is someone from your country when you are a foreigner. Gossip about me or my family? Sure! But there is just absolutely nothing juicy about us. We are plain BORING!

Why do I treat her so well? For just one reason, she takes care of my precious daughter! If she treats Laetitia well, I will in turn treat her well. I am sure Karein understands the rules of this game perfectly.

I had seen and heard about employers who simply cannot stand it when their maids got nothing to do, they die die also must find something for their maids to do. I am not saying that everyone should treat your maid like the way I treat mine. But sometimes I think we should just give them and ourselves a break. If you treat them like robots or slave, how can you then expect them to love you & your kids?

And please stop using the "abusive maid caught by hidden camera" issue and ask me if my maid will beat my baby. Don’t stereotype ALL MAIDS to be like that bitch, it’s not fair. Remember, there were also abusive employers and employers who murdered their maids. How would you feel if the maids labelled us, EMPLOYERS, as slave-driving fucker?? Anyhow, entering the life/lives of stranger/s is a gamble, both maid and employer takes the same risk.

OK, with all that said, I am not implying that we should give 100% trust to our maids and let them rule our house. That’s why, when I returned to work, we would be putting Laetitia and my maid up at my in-laws, in that way, everybody has a peace of mind.

The bottom-line is: Love All, Trust Few & Do Wrong to None!


That was a heavy topic, maybe this video will help lighten the mood up a little.

Featuring Laetitia, who was trying to get Karein to "talk" to her when Karein was watching TV.


I Make Videos!

I am possessed by a sudden craze of video-making with my cellphone. Here are some of my amateur works:


1)This depicts the bond of father & daughter. How conversation can be of unknown words & some very wet bubbles.


2)This goes to shows just how much Laetitia loves her MANGO!!


Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I am thinking of leaving…


Moving to another realm…


But where should I head to?


I seriously need a change.


Tell me where should I head to?


Blogger? WordPress? Xanga? Myspace? Livejournal?


It got to be:

1) FREE 





Any idea??


The Husband

大男人… what exactly is a 大男人?

Contrary to what most people (mainly males) believe, to be a 大男人 one must act machiam he is sar sar boh chio in front of his friends; he must call the shots and dictate how his woman must dress or behave in public. He also has to act sibei cool all the time and cannot show affections to his woman openly. When paying tabs, he wants to be seen picking it up, even though the money might be coming out of his woman’s pockets instead of his! He would risk a showdown with his woman, than to be teased by his groups of 猪朋狗友 for not hanging out with them at the clubs.

They are so unusually good at putting up facade. This kind of superficial 大男人 is like an inflatable sex doll! They are usually "full of air" but are pretty much empty inside. I even think that they might be wearing women’s panties underneath those pair of pants. What I meant was, without their women, they are probably not worth a thing afterall.



Mr Hubby is a 大男人, and he is the real McCoy.

He never has to "apply permit" from me to go anywhere. He gets to go & play mahjong right thru the night without coming home to a "black-faced" wife. He can go boozing as and when his kakis jio him, but he knows his limits. When he wanna watch football, nobody will be fighting with him for that TV remote. When he stays out late, he will not get phone calls screaming at him to get his ass back home right away.

And I, his precious wife, don’t nag and had never… ya, you are seeing it right, NEVER shouted at him before!

Before you start throwing your pities at me, I want to let you know that I was (in my previous relationships) the one wearing the pants. I had been there, done that, as the "BOSS", but it was miserable. I had to see to every fuck things, from controlling the finance.. to giving curfews.. to approving which friends they should be hanging out with.. to worrying if they make enough money.. to all types of decisions making..

And you know what, if shit happens, I had to be the one to clean it up for them! I was more like their Mom, for God’s sake!

Now with Mr Hubby, I just chill most of the time. I am relishing my role as his 小女人; finally I get to be the one who fuck things up, to be worried of and to be scolded sometimes. Even though this may come across to some feminist, that I am very the 没有用. But who cares, as long as he loves me, cares for me, gives me sense of security, pampers me with flowers & gifts and never let me have a chance to worry about money and/or anything at home, so be it.


To me 这样才是undisputedly真正的大男人!


PS: If you are wondering why am I paw-ing Mr Hubby with this entry.. Well, let’s just say he got me a really nice watch for my birthday. And July is our 1st wedding anniversary, I am looking forward to have my old wallet replaced.

PSS: Yes, I am a 小女人. 有点小聪明的女人. Hehehe…

PSSS: This is my 1st cam-whoring pic, post-natal. And I can’t believe I am still looking so cute. LOL!


The Baby

In 2 more days, Laetitia will be 3 months old!

Looking at her, smiling widely with that signature toothless grin, I felt so relieved that we had made the choice to keep her instead of aborting her. It was a very difficult decision then. We had just began our relationship, we were fighting to get somewhere in our career, we hadn’t talked about marriage. In all, we weren’t prepared to be someone’s mom or dad yet.

I never used to believe that a shotgun marriage would be blissful, but we are, much to the surprise of many. But hey, we make good effort to make things work ok! In fact, we are now happier & more drawn together by the forces of parenthood.

There have been adjustments in our lives, numerous challenges ahead of us and sacrifices waiting to be made, but I guess everything is worth it, because we have her.


And of coz having a baby is not at all a bed of roses. Remember how Laetitia used to terrorize us with "her what seems like endless" cries.

Thank God, those days are OVER!! WooHoo!! (keeping my fingers crossed)

Some babies want to be rocked or swaddled; some find comfort in the sound of hair-dryers/vacuum cleaners (weird!). And this is what calm Laetitia down when she get frustrated. I call it, her "happy space". That is actually her diaper changing top!